


Cut to the Feeling

by natacup82



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Mutual Pining, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:40:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natacup82/pseuds/natacup82
Summary: Kihyun is trying to be a supportive friend and roommate but the walls are thin and their sex is loud.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Thanks to [quietellen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sociofemme/pseuds/quietellen) for the beta, she is the best one.  
> 2\. Technically this is supposed to a sequel to another fic but that fic is currently a 2k WIP so oops I guess? But this does stand alone  
> 3\. I can't talk about several parts of the [Play It Cool](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7IXKQzmpK4) video and we should all be glad I don't know how to embed that 2 sec clip someone put on my timeline last night  
> 4\. I think I yelled on twitter that I was giving up and naming a fic Cut to the Feeling and I meant that with my whole heart

_I've been denying how I feel, you've been denying what you want  
What you want from me, talk to me baby_

Kihyun is really happy for Hyungwon. He’s glad to be done with hearing all Hyungwon’s snide comments and seeing him mope and then swear that he wasn’t moping but it’s just. It’s a lot. 

There’s a moan from the other side of the wall and Kihyun reaches over his head and slaps the wall but they don’t stop. It’s late and he really wishes he could sleep through it but the walls are thin and they are _loud_. Kihyun has never missed living alone more.

He pulls up his ‘people in love are terrible’ playlist, turns up the volume until he can’t hear anything and tries to go to sleep. 

He’s still annoyed when he heads out to meet up with Changkyun at the library the next day but doesn’t bat an eye as he spots Jooheon at their usual table. He drops into his seat with a sigh.

Jooheon raises an eyebrow at him and asks, “Problem?” clearly amused.

“I'm tired,” Kihyun sighs dropping his head down onto his folded arms. “They're so loud.”

“Who's loud?” Changkyun asks, sitting down next to Kihyun and running his fingers through his hair. “Are we taking naps instead if working today?”

“Ugh,” Kihyun says, lifting his head. “Hyungwon and Hoseok-hyung.”

“It would be fine if it didn’t happen every time Hoseok slept over but it does and it’s awful,” Kihyun says with a groan. 

“What exactly are you talking about?” Jooheon asks, confused. “How are they loud?”

Kihyun makes a face. “You know,” he says, waving his hand. “When they’re _you know_ ,” he adds with emphasis.

“Wow, that’s so descriptive,” Jooheon says, smiling as Changkyun laughs. “What the hell are you trying to say?”

Kihyun sighs. “Please don’t make me say it out loud. I already have to hear it.”

“Ah,” Changkyun says. “Hyung means they’re loud when they,” and then he makes a rude hand gesture of a finger going in a hole and laughs when Kihyun slaps his hands. 

“Don’t do that,” Kihyun hisses, slapping Changkyun’s hands again. “There are _children_ here!” There aren't but the undergrads act enough like children to count.

“That’s how they got here,” Jooheon says, giggling and high fiving Changkyun across the table. 

Kihyun glares at them. “I’ll kill you both. I’ll do it and no one will ever suspect me.”

They both keep on laughing as Kihyun sighs and pulls out his notes. His dissertation is barely a work in progress but he’s at least made some good strides toward organized notes. “None of this is funny, you know,” Kihyun says, trying to ignore it as Changkyun makes another rude gesture and Jooheon dissolves into more giggles. 

“Okay, okay, so,” Jooheon says, wiping his eyes. “Have you told Hyungwon yet? Or planned out your revenge?”

Kihyun makes a face. “I’m not gonna get revenge and I can’t talk to him about this,” he starts trying to imagine having that conversation. “What would I even say? I can’t just blurt it out.”

“You could,” Changkyun says shrugging. “It might be easier that way. Just shout it out as they’re going at it one night.”

“No.”

“You could talk to Hoseok-hyung?” Jooheon adds, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. “He lives alone, just tell him they should sleep at his place more.”

Kihyun scoffs. “Then I’ll have to have an embarrassing conversation _and_ make him sad? Have you seen him sad?” Kihyun asks, glaring at Jooheon. “I can’t do that.”

“So I guess you’re getting revenge then,” Changkyun says with a shrug.

Jooheon tips his head at him. “The pettier the better.”

“Like what?” Kihyun asks, already dreading the answer. He’s good at yelling at people to pick up after themselves, petty revenge isn’t really in his wheelhouse. “I could set his bed on fire, then they’d have to stop.”

Changkyun snorts. “He’ll just replace the bed.”

“Not if he’s in it,” Kihyun mumbles, annoyed just thinking about how much that stupid bed creaks. 

“That would still make hyung sad,” Changkyun says laughing as Kihyun makes a face.

“The next time you know Hyungwon is going to be home alone, bring someone home and then you get super loud, give him a taste of how it feels,” Jooheon says, with an evil glint in his eyes.

Kihyun is sure his ears have gone red. He doesn’t do _that_. “I’m not,” Kihyun starts then stops, looking around to make sure no one from the other tables is listening. “I’m not picking up some stranger just to have loud one night stand _sex_ ,” he says, voice dropping to a harsh whisper.

Changkyun rolls his eyes at him and says, “Then fake it.”

“What?”

“Just have someone come over, go into your room and then make a bunch of fake sex sounds and sneak them out before Hyungwon sees them,” Changkyun says with a shrug. “He’ll think you’re dating someone, he won’t know who and he’ll have to assume that he’s about to need to deal with the noise.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” Jooheon says. “I love it, do that.”

Kihyun thinks about it as they all get their work spread out on the table and thinks about it some more as they all move on quietly working.

“Do you think it could work?” Kihyun asks, after way too much time has passed. He frowns as he taps out a rhythm on the table. “I don’t want to do anything too bad.”

Jooheon makes a face. 

“It could work,” Changkyun says, shrugging. “You just have to try it and see what happens, hyung.”

“So you’ll help me then?” Kihyun asks looking at Changkyun. This is his idea so the least he can do is help him. 

“Um,” Changkyun says, as Jooheon chokes on air. “I uh.”

“Please? I'll take you to dinner, my treat?” Kihyun adds, hoping his desperation is in his voice. He briefly thinks about asking Minhyuk but if he does he’ll never hear the end of it and all he wants is to embarrass Hyungwon into being less loud or sleeping over at Hoseok’s more, not to get mocked for the next five years.

Changkyun nods and says, “Uh sure, sure I can do that. I love free food,” ignoring the wide eyes Jooheon has turned on both of them. It was half his idea so Kihyun doesn’t know why he’s suddenly being weird about it. 

“Okay good, thank you,” Kihyun says, relieved at having a plan. He isn’t exactly looking forward to making a bunch of embarrassing noise in front of another person but if it gives Hyungwon the message without him ever having to talk about it he’s happy. 

“Oh,” Kihyun adds, “You’ll need to sleep over. I wouldn’t make someone I’m dating leave, you know, _after_.”

“Sure, right,” Changkyun says, nodding as Jooheon’s eyes light up.

Jooheon sighs happily. “This is absolutely the worst idea any of us has had, I’m so excited.”

Kihyun sighs and turns back to work. Hopefully, it won’t be that bad. 

*  
Kihyun tells Hyungwon he has a date because he can’t really deal with the idea of anyone thinking he brings home random strangers and then refuses to give him any other details. 

Then he heads out and meets up with Changkyun for ramyeon and to strategize. 

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Changkyun asks, before their food arrives. 

Kihyun pulls out his notebook and ignores the look Changkyun throws his way. “Okay, I have us scheduled for dinner until maybe 9ish?” Kihyun starts looking down the schedule. “And I think we should have time to get dessert somewhere since Hyungwon doesn’t usually head into his room until after 10 and it won’t take us an hour to get there.”

Changkyun raises his eyebrow as Kihyun keeps going down the schedule. “Hyung, if you have pretend to have sex on that schedule I’m leaving,” Changkyun says, thankfully before their food is set down in front of them.

Kihyun closes his notebook and presses his lips together, in what he hopes is an approximation of a smile. “I didn’t schedule everything,” he says, lying like there’s not a 10:15pm ‘start making sexy sounds’ notation in his book. “I just like to be prepared,” he adds as their bowls are placed in front of them. 

Kihyun tastes his ramyeon and then rolls his eyes when he looks over and sees Changkyun eyeballing his bowl. “You always do this,” Kihyun says. “Every time we eat out.”

“You have good taste,” Changkyun whines, not denying it. “I just want to try it, please hyung?” he adds, pouting like the brat he is. 

“Fine,” Kihyun says, already lifting his chopsticks to Changkyun’s mouth. “But we’re not splitting my dinner, you should have ordered beef.”

Changkyun doesn’t say anything as he eats, for once chewing with his mouth closed and Kihyun knows he’s only going to get to eat half of what he wanted.

Once they’re done with dinner and have had more sticky rice cakes than they should, they head back to Kihyun’s apartment. It’s dark in the living room when they get in but Kihyun can hear the low sounds of Hyungwon’s laptop coming from his room as they store their shoes. 

He leads Changkyun down the hall to his room, thankful that Hyungwon has his door closed and doesn’t comment when Changkyun drops his backpack and flops onto his bed. 

“So,” Changkyun says, looking around Kihyun’s room. 

Kihyun hasn’t really had many of his friends in his bedroom. He’s only lived with Hyungwon for six months and it’s a much nicer and bigger space than his old studio. There’s room for a sofa so there’s not usually any reason for any of his friends to be in his room. He’s a little self-conscious about having someone in his space but it’s too late to change it now. 

“Do you usually just go at it immediately when you bring people back home with you?” Changkyun asks, voice curious. “We didn’t really talk about how soon we should start after we get here.”

Kihyun fidgets with the bottom of his shirt a little, this is the thing he didn’t really want to talk about. “I don’t really bring people home?” Kihyun says, ending it as a question even though it’s not. He doesn’t do casual sex and he hasn’t really dated since he broke up with his last boyfriend. Nobody has had sex in his room since he’s lived here.

Changkyun frowns. “Didn’t you have a boyfriend? Last year or something?”

“Yes, and we always went to his apartment.”

“Why?”

Kihyun shrugs. “He wanted to be in his own space and he hated my old apartment. I didn’t mind. It wasn’t a big deal,” Kihyun says. He doesn’t add that the last time he let someone routinely sleep over she harassed him to propose for three months. 

Changkyun makes a face but doesn't say anything for once and Kihyun is thankful. 

“I think we’ve been in here long enough that if we start making noise it won’t seem weird?” Kihyun says, quickly glancing at his phone to check the time before turning to Changkyun. “So we can just get started,” he adds, not getting started. 

Changkyun nods. “Right, sure, okay,” He starts then looks at Kihyun. “Do you wanna go first? Since it’s your apartment?”

“Um, no, no you can go first, guests should go first,” Kihyun says, trying not to panic. It’s not that he hasn’t thought this out it’s just that the actual noise making parts were very, very vague in his notes. 

“Okay,” Changkyun says and then adds, “OOOH,” loudly before making a face at Kihyun. 

Kihyun can’t stop the giggle that pops out of his mouth at the sound, even as Changkyun pushes him and hisses, “It’s your turn.”

“AAHH YES,” Kihyun nearly shouts and then snorts as Changkyun falls backward on the bed laughing. 

Changkyun tries his own fake moan again and then they’re both giggling and nearly falling off the bed. “How are we so bad at this, oh my god,” Changkyun says, trying and failing to stop laughing. 

“He probably thinks my date is going really, really badly,” Kihyun adds, laughing so hard he’s nearly gasping for breath. He tries to catch his breath and lays back on his bed with his arm draped over his face. 

He feels Changkyun flopping on the bed and moves his arm in time to see him roll over onto his stomach. “I promise I’ve had sex before, I know where to put it,” he says, fingers drumming on the bed. “I don’t know why I can’t recreate any sound I’ve ever made.”

Kihyun feels his neck get hot at the thought of Changkyun and actual sex with a person. He really doesn’t need that in his head when he’s already invited him to sleep over. “I think maybe we need to write a script?” Kihyun says, ignoring the stupid mental image trying to set up shop in his brain. 

“You can never tell Jooheon but I think you're right,” Changkyun says with a sigh. “But at least you get to watch porn for research.”

Kihyun snorts. “Wow I’m really living the dream.”

“Watching porn, writing scripts, what more could a boy want,” Changkyun says around a yawn. He folds his arms in front of him and pillows his head on them as he yawns again. 

Kihyun reaches out and runs his fingers through Changkyun’s hair. “All that terrible fake sex really wore you out huh?” Kihyun asks, voice low as he tries not to laugh. 

Changkyun opens his eyes to glare at Kihyun. “I had a full day of classes today so I’ve been up since 6, I’m tired.”

“Then get your pajamas on,” Kihyun says, swinging his legs out of bed. “I’m going to set an alarm and we can get you out of here before Hyungwon wakes up.”

Changkyun groans but gets up. “Is it going to be crazy early? I’m really tired hyung.”

Kihyun snorts. “No, Hyungwon will sleep until his back up alarm and then his extra extra back up alarm goes off,” Kihyun says, turning his back to Changkyun as he gets undressed. “And that doesn’t even get set for any time before noon most days so I’ll let you sleep a little late.”

“Thanks,” Changkyun says, and he’s already in bed by the time Kihyun turns around. He’s taken the far side so Kihyun doesn’t need to bother him about his side of the bed. 

Kihyun plugs his phone in to charge, double checks the alarm and goes to sleep. 

*  
Kihyun wakes up a little before his alarm the next morning, disoriented by the presence of another person in his bed. He’s looking forward to teasing Changkyun about his clinginess even as he struggles to untangle himself from Changkyun’s arms and get out of bed. 

He pushes his alarm back fifteen minutes and gets up, detouring into the kitchen to start the coffee maker before heading into the bathroom. 

By the time he’s done in the bathroom his alarm is going off and Changkyun has rolled as far away from it as possible and has his head shoved under a pillow. Kihyun laughs as he climbs back onto the bed and pulls the pillow off of Changkyun’s head. 

“Changkyun-ah you know you can’t sleep here all day,” Kihyun says, trying not to laugh at his disgruntled face. “You have to be on your way back home before Hyungwon wakes up.”

“Ugh,” Changkyun groans, not opening his eyes. “It’s too early, hyung, it’s not fair.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “It’s 10:30, that’s not even early.”

Changkyun rolls over onto his back. “It’s Saturday,” Changkyun says, pouting. “Why did I agree to do this on a Saturday morning.”

“Because it was your idea and I’m your favorite hyung,” Kihyun says, poking his cheek. 

Changkyun frowns, tilts his head and says, “Nah, that’s Jooheonie-hyung.”

“Rude,” Kihyun says, slapping his arm. “And here I was thinking about letting you stay in bed for a few minutes. Up, up, come on,” Kihyun says, pulling down the covers and pulling Changkyun’s arm until he sits up. 

“Why am I being punished? Ugh,” Changkyun says, around a yawn. “This is so mean.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and starts to get up before he’s pulled backward by Changkyun’s arms around his waist. 

“Can’t I get like 15 more minutes?” Changkyun asks, breathe hot on Kihyun’s neck. Changkyun is unfortunately stronger than he looks because Kihyun’s pulled back into bed with him and they’re pressed way too close together. Kihyun hasn’t gotten laid since he broke up with his boyfriend seven months ago and he hasn’t been this close to another person in longer and just, none of it is great. 

He snorts because that seems like a normal, friendly reaction to all of this and says, “You should have thought of that before you said Jooheon was your favorite hyung.”

Changkyun sighs. “Okay, fair,” he says. “Mean, but fair,” he adds letting go. 

Kihyun hops off the bed quickly, getting a little space so he can stop the stupid ‘wow he has nice arms, when did that happen’ from running through his head. “If you hurry up brushing your teeth I’m bring you coffee.”

“You’re a god among men, I won’t even complain about how you should make me breakfast,” Changkyun says, getting out of bed. 

Kihyun narrows his eyes at him. “I bought you dinner last night,” Kihyun says, glaring. “And you mainly ate mine.”

“Yours was better,” he says, shameless before peeking out of the bedroom door and then making a quick dash across the hall for the bathroom. Kihyun rolls his eyes and heads out to the kitchen to get his coffee. 

Fifteen minutes later they’re both caffeinated and Changkyun is dressed and ready to leave. “All set?” Kihyun asks, spinning in his desk chair. 

“I think so,” Changkyun says, patting his backpack. “You’ll text me when we have a script?”

Kihyun nods, standing up. He leads the way to the door and has already opened it when Changkyun says, “hang on a sec,” and Kihyun looks up and sees Hoseok stepping out of the bathroom. He quickly steps out into the hall and slams the door shut behind him. 

“Hey,” Kihyun says, voice full of false cheer as he leans against the doorframe. “I didn't hear you get in last night.”

Hoseok smiles and runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, Hyungwon called me late and asked me to come over, he has this interview thing he doesn’t want to miss,” Hoseok says, with a laugh. “You know how bad he is about getting up.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t usually emerge until the afternoons,” Kihyun says. “I would have gone in there and turned on all the lights and yelled in his ear until he woke up if I’d known.”

“He said you had a date last night, he didn't want to interrupt,” Hoseok says with a shrug. “How’d it go? I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.”

“It’s uh, new. You know,” Kihyun starts, trying to think of a lie when his bedroom door opens behind him and Changkyun steps out. Kihyun turns quickly to try to push him back in but the damage is done.

“Hyung, have you seen my charging brick? I can’t find it,” he asks before looking up, eyes darting between Kihyun and Hoseok. “Uh, shit.”

Kihyun has never wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole more. He turns back to Hoseok and finds himself faced with pure, unadulterated _glee_. Hoseok claps his hands and rocks up and down on his toes and Kihyun wants to die, he’s never going to live this down. 

“I _knew_ something was up with you two,” Hoseok says, nearly vibrating out of his skin. “Why didn’t you tell us you were dating?”

“Um,” Kihyun says, unsure what else to say. Nowhere in his notebook was a plan for if someone assumed they were really dating. He looks at Changkyun who just shrugs and makes a face at Kihyun. “It’s new?” Kihyun says, reaching for something close to the truth. 

“This is so exciting, you guys are so cute together!”

Kihyun nods and laughs, nervous. “Right, sure,” he says, reaching back and grabbing Changkyun’s hand. “Hey listen, I need to walk him out, you know big study day,” and then he just tugs Changkyun along with him toward the common room and the door and freedom, wishing he was dressed so he could run out with him. 

“Smooth babe, real smooth,” Changkyun says, laughing. 

He hears Hoseok awwing behind them because Changkyun is too damn loud. 

“Oh my god,” Kihyun says, as they get to the door, grabbing Changkyun’s shoes out of the cabinet. “What the fuck?!” Kihyun hisses as Changkyun gets his shoes on. 

“Wow, language,” Changkyun says, laughing again but at least this time he has the good sense to lower his voice. “What’s the issue? So Hoseok thinks we’re dating, won’t that make it easier next time we fake it?”

Kihyun glares at him. “I don’t want to lie this much!” Kihyun hisses. “As soon as they stopped being so loud I was gonna quietly break up with my non-existent boyfriend.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “Then just pretend to date me,” Changkyun says. “We can still break up, we’ll just say we work better as friends and go back to normal.”

Kihyun pokes him. “What did I just say about lying, ah?” Kihyun adds, voice low. “The faking it thing was enough lying for me.”

“Then _temporarily_ date me,” Changkyun adds, annoyed as he makes air quotes. “We were already going to meet up somewhere to review the script, make that a date and then we can still break up when your plan works on them.”

Kihyun frowns. “I don’t wanna waste that much of your time, Changkyun-ah. Maybe I should just send Hyungwon an email?”

“I’m not doing anything right now so it’s not wasting my time,” Changkyun starts. “Plus, you’re totally buying me food. And if you want to make me dinner to thank me, I wouldn’t say no.” 

“So this is all just a ploy to get me to feed you?” Kihyun asks, amused. It’s not the worst plan, it’s bad but it’s still better than having to actually say ‘please stop having such loud sex’ to another human being he has to keep living with. 

Changkyun shrugs. “I can’t confirm or deny anything.”

Kihyun pushes him and laughs. “Should we shake on it? To our temporary relationship?”

“Uh,” Changkyun says, looking past Kihyun. “Probably not,” he adds stepping into Kihyun’s space. 

“What are. Um,” Kihyun says, losing the plot a little as Changkyun’s hand slides along his waist, fingers grazing his skin where his t-shirt has ridden up. “What are you doing?”

“Hyung is kind of watching us,” Changkyun says, voice low. “Like he looks like he’s trying to go into the kitchen but he’s also totally looking and I don’t know about you but I don’t say goodbye to my boyfriends with a handshake.”

“Ah, right, that would be. No,” Kihyun says, sighing. 

Kihyun can’t really read the look on Changkyun’s face but they’re too close, his heart rate is starting to pick up and he doesn’t know what to do. 

“Uh do you mind if I um,” Changkyun starts and then stops. 

Kihyun frowns. “Go for it,” Kihyun says, not really sure what he’s okaying. “I don’t really know what-” he starts before he’s cut off by Changkyun kissing him. 

It starts as just the barest, briefest brush of their lips together, and it’s sweet and a perfectly reasonable way to say goodbye to your brand new temporary boyfriend but they’re both _stupid_. 

Changkyun pulls away for a second, licks his lips and Kihyun watches his tongue dart out and tilts forward to kiss him, opening his mouth at the first hint of Changkyun’s tongue. He can’t stop his hands drifting up to Changkyun’s shoulders as Changkyun’s fingers grip his waist. 

It’s just. It’s been a long time since anybody has really kissed Kihyun, and he can’t remember anybody ever kissing him like this. So he forgets for a little while, why they’re kissing and _where they are_ , until he hears a “damn,” from behind them and pulls away. 

He’s sure he looks wild, eyes wide and lips bruised but Changkyun doesn’t look any better so at least he’s not alone in that. 

“Um, okay, I’ll uh. I’ll see you later, bye,” Changkyun says, fleeing out the door and leaving Kihyun alone with his tingling lips and his thoughts. 

Kihyun takes a deep breath and turns around and finds Hoseok and Hyungwon staring at him. 

Great. 

*  
Kihyun manages to avoid answering any of Hoseok’s questions or Hyungwon’s pointed looks by offering to make them breakfast. They accept the offer even though it looks like it’s killing Hoseok to not ask anything and by the time they’re done Hyungwon has to rush to get dressed and get out the door. 

The kitchen is clean and he’s blissfully alone by noon. Kihyun heads back to his room, calls Minhyuk and leaves a very vague message and then collapses face down onto his bed and tries not to scream.

He’s not feeling much better the next day as the reality of things start to sink in. 

The problem with the change in the already bad plan is that they haven’t really put any thought into anything. He’s terrible at lying and it’s just not worth the trouble. They haven’t even thought up a plausible timeline for how things have happened and he’s actively ignoring the fact that they made out. 

He pulls out his planner and starts looking through it to try to finish working out a timeline for this relationship when his phone vibrates with a facetime call from Changkyun. Kihyun swipes to accept it with a frown. 

“Hey,” Kihyun starts. “What’s up?”

Changkyun quietly closes a door behind him and starts walking. “Hey so don’t freak out,” Changkyun starts sounding a little out of breathe.

“You know I hate it when people open with that.”

“Sorry, but uh I just escaped my apartment,” Changkyun says, still walking. “Where Minhyuk has been interrogating me for the last hour.”

Kihyun winces. That’s not great and he needs to tell Minhyuk something before Hoseok does his usual ‘can’t keep a secret because he’s too excited’ thing. “Was it bad?”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “He was mainly worried about me doing a walk of shame yesterday, which he heard about from a friend of a friend who lives in our building. He doesn’t know I was with you yet.”

“I’ll call him,” Kihyun says nodding. “I don’t know how long Hoseok-hyung is going to be able to hold it in.”

“So could I have told him I made out with his best friend?” Changkyun asks, still walking.

“You’re just blurting that out, just whenever,” Kihyun says, feeling warm at the memory of that kiss. It’s only been a day but he still can’t believe it happened. 

“What am I supposed to do, pretend it didn’t happen?” Changkyun asks, sitting down. It looks like he’s in the park near his apartment but Kihyun can’t be sure with the little bit of background caught by his phone. “It was _yesterday_.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “I know that,” he says, frowning at his phone. “Don’t be a dick about it.”

“I’m not being a dick,” Changkyun says, shrugging. “It was fun. We should do it again. Maybe with less of an audience next time unless you’re into that.”

Kihyun chokes on air, so surprised by Changkyun’s comment. He’s been thinking about it, more than he wants to admit to anyone including himself. “You can’t just say things like that,” Kihyun hisses, voice pitching high as he panics.

“I could send you a wyd text if that makes it better for you,” Changkyun says, laughing. “I mean we are dating, kind of, so you know,” Changkyun says shrugging. “And we’re friends, we should help each other out.”

Kihyun sighs. “I can’t talk about this on facetime, I just can’t.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “Fine,” he says standing up. “Meet me at that bubble tea place near my apartment in like an hour. You’re buying.”

“Am I?” Kihyun asks. “I don’t remember agreeing to that.”

“You're agreeing to it right now,” Changkyun says, nodding. “And bring your planner, I know you have at least a script outline and details of how we ‘got together’ in there already.”

Kihyun frowns. “I don’t have everything written down.”

“Sure you don’t,” Changkyun says laughing as Kihyun hangs up on him. 

 

*  
Kihyun calls Minhyuk four times before he leaves to meet Changkyun and all of his calls go to voicemail. He finally leaves a message that’s just _call me back you jackass_ and heads out. 

He beats Changkyun there so he orders and grabs a booth tucked back that at least has the illusion of privacy and texts a selca to Changkyun telling him to hurry up. 

Changkyun slides into the booth ten minutes later.

“You’re late,” Kihyun says, ignoring the way Changkyun is eyeballing what’s left of his bubble tea. “This was your idea, you know.”

Changkyun kicks his foot under the table. “I had to run back home and then I had to talk to Jooheon, who is laughing at us just so you know.”

“Of course he is,” Kihyun says rolling his eyes. “He knew something was going to blow up in our faces.”

“And he thinks it’s funny that I’ve had to hear about it from Minhyuk-hyung,” Changkyun says with a shrug. “Are you buying me bubble tea or are we sharing that one?” Changkyun adds, shifting closer to Kihyun.

Kihyun narrows his eyes at him. “Why do you always steal my food?” he asks, begrudgingly sliding his bubble tea over to Changkyun. 

“It’s not my fault you always get things I like,” Changkyun says, before he takes a sip. “And you always share even when you complain.”

Kihyun sighs. “Because I’m a pushover,” he says, sliding out of the booth. 

Changkyun snorts. “No you’re not, you tell the other hyungs no all the time.”

Kihyun doesn’t have an answer for that, at least not one that he wants to think about too hard. “I’m gonna get another one,” he says instead of answering. “And you don’t get to pick the flavor since you’re just going to steal mine anyway.”

Changkyun has finished the first tea by the time Kihyun slides back into the booth. “We are sharing,” Kihyun says, glaring at Changkyun. “If you drink more than half I can’t be blamed for the violence.”

“Fine,” Changkyun sighs, making grabby hands at Kihyun until he slides the tea over. 

Kihyun pulls out his notebook and plops it on the table. “Let’s get started.”

He outlines the timeline he’s set up and the schedule he’s set, glaring more and more as Changkyun ignores him. “Do you have a problem or are you being annoying on purpose?” Kihyun asks, snatching back the nearly half empty bubble tea.

“You’re overthinking this, hyung,” Changkyun says, sitting back in the booth, arm draped over the seat behind Kihyun. “We need to stick closer to the truth.” He starts playing with Kihyun’s collar but Kihyun is not going to be distracted.

Kihyun frowns. “What did you tell Minhyuk?’ Kihyun asks.

Changkyun shrugs and says, “Not much. I told him I got dinner with a friend and crashed at their place but you know.” He shrugs again. “He can smell lies or half truths or something, he didn’t believe me.”

“I’ll talk to him as soon as he decides to answer his damn phone,” Kihyun says, ignoring how Changkyun’s shifted just the tiniest bit closer, how his arm is now fully across Kihyun’s shoulders and his thumb is slowly brushing Kihyun’s neck. “We could just say we’ve been spending a lot of time together since everyone is so busy and things just happened.”

Changkyun nods. “That would probably work since it’s you know, true,” he says. “So hey, are we gonna talk about that other thing or are you just going to pretend that’s not why we’re here.”

“What exactly do you want me to say?” Kihyun asks, keeping his face blank as he looks up. “We made-,” he cuts himself off. “Things got a little out of hand but that doesn’t mean we should just keep on doing that.”

Changkyun gives him a look. “You’re the one who stuck your tongue in my mouth.”

“Do you want me to apologize?” Kihyun asks, getting annoyed. He’s pretty sure he didn’t but it’s all a bit hazy and it’s not like he meant to do it, things just got away from him. It could have happened to anybody and he definitely hasn’t been thinking about it happening again. “And you kissed me first!”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “Fine, if that’s what you need me to do,” he says and before Kihyun has a chance to ask what he means Changkyun kisses him again. It’s not the brief brush of their lips from the other day and it’s less of a surprise so Kihyun kisses back, hand drifting up to Changkyun’s jaw. He tastes like the strawberry milk tea he absolutely didn’t share so Kihyun bites his lip, lightly and soothes it with his tongue, smiling against Changkyun’s mouth when he tries to pull him closer. 

Kihyun is lamenting the fact that he can’t actually climb into Changkyun’s lap when a very familiar voice says, “oh my god,” and he pulls away, wide eyed. 

“I can’t believe you!” Minhyuk says, standing at the end of the booth. “Are you trying to get us banned?”

Changkyun groans. “Hyung, your timing is terrible.”

“Sorry I’m interrupting your busy schedule of making out with my best friend in my favorite _bubble tea store_!” Minhyuk hisses, glaring at them. 

Kihyun sighs and says, “Can you please calm down? Like a little?”

Minhyuk points a finger at him. “And you, corrupting him like this? My own best friend! You didn’t even tell me.”

“I called you four times, _today_ ,” Kihyun replies glaring. They face off at each other for a few seconds before Kihyun sighs again and tells Changkyun, “can you give us a minute?”

Changkyun looks between them then nods. “I’ll be outside, don’t try to run away before we talk.”

“I won’t,” Kihyun says as Changkyun gets up and Minhyuk slides into the booth. And at Changkyun’s skeptical look. “I promise I’ll come find you after, you have a witness.”

“Okay,” he says, and heads out. And then Kihyun turns to Minhyuk. 

*  
“So, what the fuck?” Minhyuk asks crossing his legs and folding his hands on top of his knee.

“It's not a big deal,” Kihyun says rolling his eyes with more confidence than he feels.

Minhyuk raises both eyebrows. “I walk in here and find you dummies trying to get us banned from the only good bubble tea in this neighborhood but it's not a big deal?”

“We're just figuring some stuff out.”

“You're just figuring stuff out,” Minhyuk says, doing an annoying voice. “And you just forgot to tell me, your best friend, your favorite, that you're dating my roommate. I have to find out by being scarred for life.”

“Are you done being melodramatic?” Kihyun asks, annoyed. He’s not going to feel bad for not telling Minhyuk when he doesn't even really know what the hell he's doing. 

“No!” Minhyuk says and then at Kihyun’s look, “fine yes.”

“We're not even really dating,” Kihyun says. “We had dinner, we made out,” Kihyun says with a shrug and then adds, “twice. That's it.”

Minhyuk gives him a look he can't read. “So you didn't tell anyone you had a date the other night? And Changkyun, your friend you accidentally made out with twice didn't sleep in your bed?” Minhyuk asks, voice rising as he gets excited. 

Kihyun feels his neck get warm and hopes he doesn't get red. “Listen. I maybe, _maybe_ told Hyungwon I had a date but it wasn't a date _date_. It was a friend date.”

“A friend date that ended the next day with you making out with him?” Minhyuk asks, giving him a look. “I know you think he's hot and that might complicate things but this is not like our friend dates.”

Then he pauses and looks at the booth. “Was this another,” he stops to do air quotes, “friend date?”

“Minhyuk-ah,” Kihyun says voice descending into a whine. 

“Oh my God, it was,” Minhyuk says laughing. “This is amazing. I forgive you for not telling me and making me listen to vague gossip from Hoseok if you're being this dumb.”

“I'm not being dumb. I was just trying to get a night off of hearing Hyungwon have loud sex and things have just gotten away from me a little bit,” Kihyun says, rubbing his fingers across his eyes. “I just wanted some help annoying my damn roommate.”

Minhyuk snorts. “That's what happens when you go on dates with a boy you had a crush on a year ago.”

“I had a boyfriend a year ago,” Kihyun says kicking Minhyuk's foot. 

Minhyuk rolls his eyes and says, “That's why you didn't do anything about it. Now you're single, he's single and he’s not hooking up with everything with a pulse anymore, great timing.”

“It's not like that, we're friends and he’s doing me a favor,” Kihyun argues even as his heart races a little at the idea of having that much of Changkyun’s undivided attention.

“That would be more believable if I didn't walk in on you trying to climb into his lap,” Minhyuk says laughing. “What are you afraid of?”

“Are you really asking me that? You?” Kihyun asks. Minhyuk just shrugs at him so Kihyun adds, “What about Hyunwoo?”

It's fascinating, in a horrible way, to watch as all the blood drains out of Minhyuk’s face.

“That's different,” Minhyuk says finally, taking a hasty sip of his bubble tea.

Kihyun scoffs. “How? How is that different?”

“I've never made out with him and when I sleep over I’m on the couch,” Minhyuk says, voice firm. “He’s never been into me. I've just been out here with these feelings alone.” 

“Minhyuk-ah,” Kihyun says, reaching out to grab his hand. “I know he likes you, I know it. He can't know you and not like you.”

“Gross,” he says trying to hide his smile by making a face. Kihyun makes a face right back and they're back on familiar ground. 

“This isn't about my shitty love life, it's about yours and how you've accidentally stumbled into a new boyfriend.”

“I haven't!” Kihyun says. “Listen, he's going to temporarily date me to help annoy Hyungwon and then I'm going to spend less time alone with him.” 

“You're gonna make out with him again while saying you shouldn't.” 

“I hate you,” Kihyun says flopping back against the booth. “He keeps kissing me first, it's not my fault.”

“And you keep kissing him back,” Minhyuk says with a shrug.”You like him, he likes you.”

“It’s temporary and casual,” Kihyun says tapping on the table. “He wants a friends with benefits type deal while he’s helping me out.”

Both of Minhyuk’s eyebrows jump up. “Has he met you?” Minhyuk asks laughing when Kihyun kicks him. 

“Fine, whatever. I support you in what I'm sure is going to totally be your casual temporary relationship with Changkyunie while he helps you annoy Hyungwon,” Minhyuk says, rolling his eyes.

Kihyun sighs. “Are you done?”

“No,” Minhyuk says grinning before he carries on. “And fine you've had a crush on Changkyun for at least a year and you were gonna sit back and do nothing about it but hooking up with him should be fine, I'm sure you won't have a feeling.”

“So you basically think this is a bad idea,” Kihyun says groaning.

Minhyuk shrugs. “I think you were already kind of dating him and you should just keep on doing that. We both know you don't do casual.”

“Now’s a good time to start.”

“Sure,” Minhyuk says, totally insincerely. “I'm gonna tell you I told you so when this blows up.”

Kihyun sighs. “Glad you're on my side.”

*  
Minhyuk leaves first mumbling about emotionally incompetent idiots. Kihyun tries not to take it personally. 

He throws out what’s left of the bubble tea and heads out. He finds Changkyun leaning up against the wall by the door on his phone, waiting for him. 

“Hey,” Kihyun says, as he steps out, stomping down the nervousness that’s starting to crawl up his throat. 

Changkyun looks up from his phone, lips quirking up into a smile and says, “Hey,” back. 

“Do you wanna maybe go somewhere and talk?” Kihyun asks. 

Changkyun raises an eyebrow at him and slips his phone into his pocket. “Did we actually get thrown out of here or?” he asks sounding amused.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and snorts. “No, I'm just not up for any more surprises today.”

Changkyun shrugs and says, “Alright. We can go back to my place, Minhyuk-hyung said he had a thing when he left.”

“A thing,” Kihyun asks, voice flat. That thing is probably laughing at them from Hyunwoo's sofa since he thinks it's all so funny.

“A thing,” Changkyun says nodding. “I didn't ask any follow up questions, hyung.”

Kihyun sighs. “Then I guess we're going to your place,” Kihyun says, following as Changkyun pushes off the wall and turns toward his apartment building. 

It's not a long walk; maybe twenty minutes on a bad day but Changkyun reaches out and tangles their fingers together about two minutes into it. It’s not the first time they’ve held hands; Kihyun has held hands with most of his friends at one time or another but it doesn’t feel the same. Kihyun doesn’t comment on it and Changkyun doesn't say another word until they're stepping out of the elevator on his floor. 

“It's a little messy right now,” Changkyun says as he keys in the door code. 

“Define a little messy for you,” Kihyun asks at his back, stepping out of his shoes as they step into the apartment. “For me it's my clean laundry hasn't been put away yet and there's three hoodies on the chair.”

Changkyun laughs. “No I meant like we haven't done the dishes in four days and I didn't make my bed this morning.”

“Are you planning on washing those dishes some time soon?” Kihyun asks as he glances at the pile in the tiny kitchenette sink. The apartment doesn't have the space to let dishes pile up like that and just the thought of the mess is annoying him.

“Eventually,” Changkyun says with a shrug so Kihyun pushes him toward the doors that lead to the bedrooms. 

“Go make your damn bed,” Kihyun says pushing him again. “I'm doing you a one time favor of washing these dishes and then you can try to be less disgusting.”

“Thanks hyung,” Changkyun says, laughing as he backs toward the door on the left side of the apartment. “This is why you're my favorite.”

Kihyun narrows his eyes at him, sure he’s being played but he doesn't feel like figuring out how. 

He finds a pair of dish gloves that look like they've never been used and gets to work washing the dishes. There are less than he’d expect after four days of neglect but at least it makes quick work. After that it's not too much trouble to wipe down the countertops and then sweep the floor and by the time he’s done it's been fifteen minutes and Changkyun hasn't come back out of his room once. 

Kihyun frowns as he puts away the dish gloves and walks over to Changkyun’s room. He pushes open the door and glares at Changkyun sprawled out on top of his clearly hastily made bed. “What are you doing?” Kihyun asks stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. 

“Uh,” Changkyun says, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Definitely not napping.”

“I didn’t come here to clean your apartment while you napped,” Kihyun says, sighing. He stops at the foot of the bed and he wants to be annoyed but Changkyun looks like he needs another few hours of sleep. “Listen, I’m gonna head out. We can talk when we meet up at the library tomorrow or something.”

Changkyun groans as he sits up and grabs at Kihyun’s hands. “No, stay and nap with me.”

Kihyun chokes out a laugh as Changkyun tugs him toward the bed. “I’m not tired, Changkyun-ah,” Kihyun says even as he lets Changkyun pull him down next to him. “And we were supposed to be talking, how is napping talking?”

“We can talk after we nap,” Changkyun mumbles as he tucks himself against Kihyun, arm thrown across his chest as their legs tangle together. 

Kihyun snorts. “I’m holding you to that,” he says, wrapping an arm around Changkyun’s back as he lets the quiet lull him to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done! This half is a bit longer than part 1, hope you enjoy <3

The sun hasn’t quite set when Kihyun wakes up but it’s still much later than he expected. He can’t move since Changkyun is mostly sleeping on top of him, head on his chest and hair brushing Kihyun’s chin. 

Kihyun feels overwhelmingly fond and he’s glad that Changkyun is asleep and no one else is around to witness it. He runs a finger along Changkyun’s ear, holding back a laugh when he tries to brush whatever’s touching him away. He does it again and again until Changkyun groans and mumbles, “stop being a dick,” not bothering to lift his head or open his eyes. 

Kihyun snorts. “You know a nap doesn’t mean let’s sleep for six hours, stay up until three am and then stumble out of bed in the morning half dead. You know that right?” Kihyun asks, as he taps out a tune that’s been stuck in his head for days on Changkyun’s back. “Plus we’re supposed to talk, stop putting it off.”

“Ugh, fine,” Changkyun says, rolling off of Kihyun to flop on his back beside him. “Talk.”

Kihyun feels his absence more than he wants to even think about thinking about so he rolls onto his side and props himself up on one arm facing Changkyun. “You’re the one who didn’t want me to leave before we talked, I feel like you’re conveniently forgetting that.”

Changkyun sighs. “Okay, fair. I didn’t want you to freak out and get weird on me.”

“I didn’t get weird.”

“You were working up to it,” Changkyun says, mirroring Kihyun as he rolls onto his side and props himself up on one hand. “I like you, I like kissing you. I don’t see why that shouldn’t be part of this whole thing we’re doing.”

“I like you too,” Kihyun says and then adds, “obviously, we’re friends,” quickly before Changkyun can get the wrong (right) idea. “But all of that complicates things,” Kihyun says, with a sigh. Even though he was willing to argue with Minhyuk about doing something casual he’s never been able to navigate that kind of thing before. And he’s not sure he can really do it with an actual friend. 

Changkyun snorts. “Hoseok-hyung seeing me walk out of your room complicated things. Them watching us make out complicated things. Everything else is complicated but me and you? That’s easy.”

“That was really cheesy,” Kihyun says, laughing. That sets Changkyun off and Kihyun pushes him, laughing harder when Changkyun rolls onto his back. 

“I can’t believe I’m attracted to you,” Kihyun says, leaning over him. 

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “Are you gonna keep complaining or are you gonna kiss me?”

Kihyun snorts and then kisses him. It’s almost shy but it quickly trips into something heated. Between one kiss and the next Kihyun lets his weight drop down on top of Changkyun and slips a hand up his shirt, fingers finally sliding on bare skin. 

It’s overwhelming and addictive so he’s a little annoyed when Changkyun mumbles, “wait, hang on,” against his lips and pushes until Kihyun sits up. 

“What?” Kihyun asks, confused for a second as Changkyun sits up, pulls off his shirt and tosses it on the floor before reaching for Kihyun. 

“I’m hot?” Changkyun says, fingers slipping up under Kihyun’s shirt. 

“And what does that have to do with my shirt?” Kihyun asks as he raises his arms and lets Changkyun pull it up and off.

“You’re hot too,” Changkyun says, tugging Kihyun back down on top of him. 

Kihyun laughs into his neck, pressing kisses along his jaw. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You like ridiculous,” Changkyun says, as he pops the fly of Kihyun’s jeans and slips his hand in, palming Kihyun’s dick. 

Kihyun moans and thrusts into Changkyun’s hand. “Kyun, we shouldn’t. Fuck.”

“We don’t have to fuck,” Changkyun says, lips brushing against Kihyun’s shoulder. “I’m flexible,” he adds as he finally pushes Kihyun’s jeans down his legs, adjusts his grip and starts stroking. 

Kihyun wants to say something about his early morning tomorrow and how he can’t sleep over but his whole world has narrowed down to Changkyun’s hand and their chests where they’re pressed together and finally, as he slides his hand into Changkyun’s hair and pulls his head back to kiss him, the mouth that’s hot and eager beneath his.

And then Kihyun isn’t really thinking about much at all.

*  
Kihyun wakes up the next morning to the alarm on his phone blaring from the floor and Changkyun whining next to him. Kihyun ignores him and reaches for his jeans, pulling them to him by the leg until he can reach into the pocket and get his phone. 

His battery is on 10% and he’s got about forty minutes to get dressed and get to the vocal lessons he’s supposed to be giving that morning. 

“Shit,” Kihyun says, swinging his legs out of bed and remembering suddenly that he’s naked, doesn’t have a change of clothes and can’t remember what happened to his underwear. “Shit shit shit.”

He looks around on the floor for a minute but his boxers are still nowhere to be found so he gives up and pulls on his jeans and tries to not feel weird about going without. But he’s not willing to go to work with the same shirt on so he grabs a sweater from Changkyun’s closet, runs to the bathroom to swish some mouthwash around and get some water on his face.

By the time he’s mostly dressed he’s blown ten minutes and his phone is ready to die. 

“Changkyun-ah,” he says, slapping Changkyun’s hip until he starts mumbling from the spot he’s rolled into to go back to sleep. “Where’s your charging brick? I need it.”

Changkyun squints at him from where he’s trying to bury himself further under the blankets. “Hyung, stop,” he says with a whine. 

“I need to go to work, my phone is dying and I will never touch your dick again if you don’t tell me where to find your portable charger,” Kihyun asks, glaring around at the little bit of mess in the room. 

Changkyun paws at the night stand and pulls out a charging brick and drops it on the bed before he shifts back to the middle of the bed. 

“Thank you!” Kihyun says, grabbing the brick and heading for the door. “Don’t forget we’re meeting at the library at 2pm,” he adds, and takes Changkyun’s grunt as confirmation. 

He nearly collides with Minhyuk on his way out the door and mumbles, “You can laugh at me later, I gotta go,” and then he’s running for the train. 

Kihyun’s just barely on time but it luckily doesn’t set the tone with his vocal students or his seminar and by the time the afternoon rolls around Kihyun has mostly forgotten his hectic morning. 

He’s done with work and his advisor has canceled their meeting so he heads over to the on campus library early to meet up with Changkyun. 

They’ve been meeting up twice a week to work on their various assignments, sometimes Kihyun is just grading things from the classes he’s TAing, since they bumped into each other on the way in the previous semester. It’s one of Kihyun’s favorite parts of his week, meeting up to work and share an iPod without any of the craziness that usually pops up when they’re with their larger group of friends. It’s nice that even if everything else is very different they still have that little bit of normal.

He finds Changkyun at their usual table, tucked in a corner by one of the big picture windows, books and notes spread out across half of the table. 

“Hey,” Kihyun says, as he drops into a seat across the table from Changkyun. “Have you been here long?”

Changkyun shakes his head but doesn't look up from the page. “Eh I got here early,” he says, highlighting a paragraph. “I’ve only been here for like half an hour.”

“Ok, you looked way too settled in, I thought I was late,” Kihyun says, pulling out a binder with some of his most recent chapter notes and a folder with some papers he needs to grade. 

Changkyun snorts. “No, you’re,” he pauses and Kihyun looks up and catches Changkyun staring at him and raises an eyebrow. “You’re fine,” he finishes still staring at him. “Is that my sweater?”

Kihyun looks down at his chest and shrugs. “Yeah, I had to teach this morning. I wasn’t going into a classroom wearing my scrubby shirt from yesterday,” Kihyun says, frowning. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“I don’t, it looks really good on you.”

“I know right? Thanks, I should wear your clothes more often,” Kihyun says smiling down at his notes. They work quietly for a while until Changkyun is groaning and pushing away from the table. 

Kihyun looks up from his notes and asks, “Problem?”

“I’m missing a book I need to finish this paper,” Changkyun says, running a hand through his hair. “Can you help me look for it?”

Kihyun frowns. “Why? It’s one book, you can get to it on your own.” 

“Come on, hyung,” Changkyun whines. “It’ll be faster if I have help, it’s in some badly lit back corner of the stacks.”

Kihyun sighs, tipping his head back to glare at the ceiling. He’s contemplating how much whining he’s willing to listen to when Changkyun appears in his sightline leaning over the back of his chair. 

“Pleeeeassse?” Changkyun asks, again.

“Fine,” Kihyun says, giving up and trying not to smile as Changkyun drops a quick upside down kiss onto his forehead. “Lead the way,” he adds, letting Changkyun pull him up out of his chair and down a row of books on modern poetry. 

Kihyun trails a finger along the shelves as they walk farther into the stacks, following along behind Changkyun as he goes. He hasn’t spent much time down here with his focus on modern music and voice but he knows Changkyun is always pulling out some piece of literature Kihyun’s never heard of before. 

When they’ve walked far enough that Kihyun can’t even hear people in the opposite rows he asks, “What exactly are we looking for here?” stopping and leaning back against the bookshelf as Changkyun browses a row of turn of the century poetry. 

Changkyun frowns and looks around. Kihyun isn’t exactly excited to head further into this part of the library. The overhead lights are pretty weak and there don’t seem to be any other people around. It feels like they’ve wandered into another world. 

“Eh,” Changkyun says, stepping into Kihyun’s space and sliding his hands along Kihyun’s waist, fingers slipping under his sweater. “I might have exaggerated a little bit,” Changkyun adds, lips brushing Kihyun’s neck. 

“Kyun,” Kihyun says, voice going high as he tilts his head back as Changkyun kisses along his jaw. “What the hell.”

Changkyun laughs against his neck. “You’re wearing my clothes,” Changkyun says, hands drifting down to thumb open the button on Kihyun’s jeans. 

Kihyun slides his fingers into Changkyun’s hair and pulls, hard enough to get his head back so they’re eye level. “Are you serious?”

“It’s really hot,” Changkyun says with a laugh. “And if you keep pulling my hair like that we’re going to have a real big mess.”

Kihyun’s eyes go wide at that then he pulls Changkyun in and kisses him. “We’ve gotta stop making out in public,” Kihyun mumbles against Changkyun’s lips. He groans when Changkyun slips his knee between his legs and grabs his ass, hand tightening in Changkyun’s hair as he slides his other hand up the back of his shirt. 

“This barely counts as public,” Changkyun says, drifting away to kiss along Kihyun’s neck. “No one’s around. I could blow you and nobody would even notice.”

Kihyun groans and mumbles, “Please stop saying things like that,” as his dick rubs against his jeans and he’s reminded that he couldn’t find his underwear that morning and coming in his pants would just be much, much worse. 

“Can I though?” Changkyun asks, lips finding the spot behind Kihyun’s ear that has always driven him a little crazy. 

“Can you what?” Kihyun asks, breathless. 

Changkyun laughs, breathe stuttering out warm across Kihyun’s neck. “Can I blow you?”

“Kyun.”

Changkyun pulls back to look at him. “Nobody comes back here, hyung,” he starts, fingers playing with the zipper on Kihyun’s jeans. “You can be quiet if you want but I promise we’re alone.”

Kihyun knows he should say no. He should say no and they should go back to their table and not do any of this in the library. But he’s got Changkyun’s hands on him again and he can’t tear his eyes away from his mouth so he finds himself nodding and saying, “okay, okay,” and trying not to moan when Changkyun rocks forward to kiss him quickly before dropping to his knees. 

Before Kihyun has time to think his jeans are down at his ankles and Changkyun is wrapping a hand around his dick, smiling up at him and swallowing his dick. 

“Oh fuck,” Kihyun moans as Changkyun starts sucking him with no hesitation or build up, just straight to trying to suck Kihyun’s brains out through his dick. 

Kihyun tips his head back against the shelves behind him and closes his eyes trying not to embarrass himself. Changkyun sucks him in deep and then pulls back over and over again, before he pulls off completely and jerks Kihyun off, tongue dancing along his tip. “Oh my god,” Kihyun whines, hand sinking into Changkyun’s hair. He pulls hard as Changkyun sucks him back in again and tries to think unsexy thoughts as Changkyun moans around his dick. 

“Kyun,” Kihyun pants, as his legs start to go weak. “Kyun, Changkyun-ah, I’m close you need to,” Kihyun says, voice rough. Changkyun doesn’t listen or he doesn’t hear but either way he doesn’t pull off; he just grips Kihyun’s hip tighter and sucks just a little bit harder. Kihyun cums with a groan, glad for the bookshelf at his back as his knees go weak and Changkyun just swallows and swallows until Kihyun’s fingers go slack in his hair and Kihyun knows his dick has stopped pulsing in his mouth. 

Changkyun sits back on his heels and lets Kihyun’s dick slip out of his mouth with an obscene pop, smiling up at Kihyun for a second before standing up, pulling Kihyun’s jeans up with him. 

He tucks Kihyun back into his jeans, zips him up and plops a quick kiss on his cheek and says, “Hey,” voice gone almost shy. 

Kihyun smiles at him and says, “Hi,” grabbing a fist full of his shirt and pulling him in to kiss him and thinks he is so, so _fucked_. 

*

Changkyun goes home with Kihyun that night but they don’t do more than order in dinner and fall asleep watching a movie in Kihyun’s bed. 

Kihyun wakes up to the alarm he forgot to reset and Changkyun pressed along his back, arm draped lazily across Kihyun’s waist. It takes him a few tries to get it turned off, ignoring Changkyun’s groans of annoyance as Kihyun finally gets it off. 

“Hyung, why?” Changkyun asks groaning. “I know you don’t have any classes today.”

Kihyun snorts and rolls over onto his back. Changkyun is leaning up on one arm, rubbing a hand across his face like that will make him less tired. “I forgot to turn it off when we came in last night,” Kihyun says, reaching up to card his fingers through the mess that is Changkyun’s bed head. “Sorry baby,” Kihyun says absentmindedly, closing his eyes and wondering at Changkyun’s quick intake of breath as he thinks about if it’s worth it to try going back to sleep for a couple of hours. He’s got office hours in the afternoon and he needs to write a few pages of his dissertation to stay on track but all of that is hours away. 

“You can make it up to me hyung,” Changkyun says as he lies down mostly on top of Kihyun, chin resting on his chest. 

Kihyun opens his eyes and squints at Changkyun. “You want me to make you breakfast, don’t you?” Kihyun asks amused. 

Changkyun laughs, voice rough with sleep and says, “Obviously,” as he presses a kiss to the center of Kihyun’s chest and starts kissing his way up, past his nipples, taking a moment to suck at the point where his neck meets his shoulder before kissing a line across his jaw. “But you could fuck me first,” Changkyun adds, ignoring Kihyun’s groans as he runs his tongue along Kihyun’s ear. 

“Why are you such a menace?” Kihyun asks, hand sliding into Changkyun’s hair and pulling until his mouth is no longer hot against Kihyun’s neck. 

“It gets you worked up and you’re very hot when you’re worked up,” Changkyun says, with an oof as Kihyun flips them over. “Really, really hot,” Changkyun says, laughing as Kihyun leans down and kisses him. 

Kihyun lets Changkyun pull him closer until there’s barely any space between them, grinding together as they kiss. He slowly drags his hand up Changkyun’s thigh, fingers slipping into his threadbare boxers. 

“Why are we still wearing clothes?” Changkyun asks as he slides a hand up Kihyun’s t-shirt. Kihyun laughs, a little, breathless from the friction of their hips and their kisses but they make short work of the few clothes they have on, shedding boxers and sleep tees quickly before coming back together. 

Kihyun pulls away to dig out an embarrassingly full bottle of lube and a condom and when he turns back to crawl between Changkyun’s legs he finds him slowly jerking off and promptly forgets to breathe. Kihyun crawls back over him and pulls his hand away and laces their fingers together above Changkyun’s head.

“I was using that hyung,” Changkyun says as Kihyun kisses his neck. 

Kihyun smiles against his skin. “I thought you wanted me to fuck you?” he asks, lips grazing Changkyun’s ear. “Maybe I’ll go make breakfast,” Kihyun adds, letting go of Changkyun’s hand and starting to pull away only for Changkyun to pull him back with a hand on his waist. 

“You’re not funny,” Changkyun says, groaning as Kihyun moves against him. 

Kihyun laughs but it comes out like a moan as Changkyun spreads his legs and they both get a little more friction. “I’m a little funny,” Kihyun says, gasping against Chagkyun’s neck. “Stop, stop pretending you don’t like it.”

“I’ll like it more when you’re inside of me.”

Kihyun freezes for a second and says, “You can’t just _say_ that, oh my god,” as he feels his ears heat up. 

Changkyun rolls his eyes and presses the bottle of lube into Kihyun’s hands. “Hyung, we are _naked_. Stop playing around, I don’t wanna cum like this.”

Kihyun nods and says, “Okay, okay,” as he pours lube out onto his shaking hands. He’s thankful that Changkyun doesn’t comment on it because his confidence is already on unsteady ground and he doesn’t need that on top of it. Kihyun’s not nervous, exactly, but it's been a while and the sudden realization that he likes Changkyun way more than he was willing to admit to himself has left him unbalanced. He steadies his hand as he reaches between them, fingers skating a line down Changkyun’s dick and balls before they settle behind and brush against his hole. 

“Hyung,” Changkyun whines as Kihyun’s fingers graze against him without pushing forward. Kihyun smiles, kissing Changkyun’s cheek as he finally, slowly pushes in with his first finger. He works Changkyun open slowly, kissing him to swallow his moans as he adds a second, then third finger, scissoring them before nearly pulling out and pushing in again. 

“Are you ready?” Kihyun asks, voice low. He’s ready, keyed up from kissing, touching and trying to be patient. 

Changkyun nods, still nearly riding Kihyun’s fingers and says, “Yeah, yes, yes please.”

“Okay,” Kihyun says, slowly pulling his fingers out and quickly slicking himself up and sliding on the condom. “How do you wanna?” Kihyun asks gesturing between them. 

“I wanna see you,” Changkyun says, voice matter of fact. Kihyun nods and grabs a pillow and mumbles, “lift up,” sliding it up under Changkyun’s hips and then settles between his legs and at Changkyun’s nod slowly, slowly pushes in, inch by inch until he bottoms out braced on his arms and trying to hold still. 

Changkyun is breathing out short, sharp bursts beneath him for a minute before he says, “Okay, you can move.”

“Are you sure?” Kihyun asks, fighting the instinct to just move already. Changkyun has a habit of doing things before he’s really ready and Kihyun isn’t willing to let this be one of them.

“Kihyun-ah, please,” Changkyun says, whining so Kihyun rolls his hips and takes Changkyun’s gasp as confirmation. They don’t talk much after that as Kihyun starts fucking him in earnest and the world narrows down to them and all the places they’re touching. Kihyun slides a hand up Changkyun’s thigh and hitches his leg up to change the angle just a little and Changkyun’s hands scramble across his back.

“Oh fuck,” Changkyun moans, sliding a hand up to Kihyun’s neck to pull him down and kiss him. It’s a sloppy kiss, more a quick smash of their lips before they can do nothing more than breathe together. “I’m close.”

“Yeah?” Kihyun says, breathless. He’s not quite there yet but he knows he’s not going to last much longer. “You gonna touch yourself for me baby? I wanna see you cum for me.”

Changkyun groans but he wraps a hand around his dick and starts jerking off in rhythm with Kihyun’s thrusts. Kihyun gets a little erratic watching Changkyun jerk off as he fucks him but he tries to hold on as Changkyun clenches around him and moans, “Fuck, fuck,” as he cums. Kihyun can’t hold off after that, cumming with a mumbled, “oh god,” as his hips stutter.

Kihyun doesn’t let his arms go out completely, lowering himself until he’s laying on top of Changkyun, ignoring the mess that’s spreading between them as he tries to catch his breath. He feels like a raw nerve, fingers tingling and heart racing as Changkyun cards his fingers through his hair and Kihyun realizes again that he is fucked. 

*  
Kihyun makes breakfast, laughing as Changkyun drapes himself across his back as they wait for the rice cooker. He’s never been with anyone that wanted to touch him this much and Kihyun doesn’t know how he’s going to go back to not being touched very often when all of this is done. 

But at least he gets the bonus of Hyungwon stumbling into the kitchen half asleep and squawking when he walks in on Kihyun pushing Changkyun up against the refrigerator to kiss him. 

“Please don’t have sex in our kitchen,” Hyungwon mumbles stepping around them to get at the coffee. 

Changkyun snorts but he doesn’t complain as Kihyun pulls away from him, following behind Hyungwon harassing him into pouring his second cup of coffee. The rest of the morning passes by in a quiet kind of a blur as they all have breakfast and slowly head out. 

They settle into a pattern over the next few weeks, continuing their routine of meeting up at the library and getting dinner together several times a week with the added sleepovers at each others apartments. 

If they were sticking to the original plan they’d only be sleeping over at Kihyun’s and only when Hyungwon was home but one Saturday Changkyun steers them back to his apartment and without trying, spending part of the weekend there becomes the norm. 

It doesn’t feel temporary, they hang out and steal each others clothes and have so much sex that Kihyun almost forgets the eight months he was unintentionally celibate. As two weeks become a month and a month becomes three, Kihyun wonders what exactly they’re doing and if he’s worked his way out of one awkward conversation only to be stuck trying to figure out how to take the temporary part out of his relationship. 

They’re a little over a week out from their fourth month of whatever, Kihyun refuses to think of it as an anniversary while things are so unresolved and they’re several hours into a school study days long weekend. They’ve fled the overpopulated library to work on Kihyun’s couch. 

Kihyun sits with his back against one end of the couch and his legs stretched out, feet tucked under Changkyun’s thighs. They work quietly for a while, Kihyun with his red pen out as he reads essay after terrible undergrad essay on the shifting styles of vocal performance across three generations of kpop idols and Changkyun with what Kihyun is pretty sure are rap lyrics that he’s going to present as a poem that’s going to be incorporated into his master’s thesis. 

It’s nice, being able to sit and work together without needing to talk to fill the quiet but it’s another one of those things that makes Kihyun anxious to imagine ending if the temporary part of their relationship doesn’t change.

Kihyun sighs and scrolls to the next page in what might be the worst essay he’s ever graded, making a note in red in his grade book. 

“What’s wrong?” Changkyun says, hand circling Kihyun’s ankle as Kihyun sighs again.

“Everyone has bad taste and their writing is bad,” Kihyun says, not looking up from his tablet. 

Changkyun laughs, tipping sideways onto Kihyun’s legs. “Maybe,” Changkyun starts trying to regain some sort of composure. “It’s time for a break? If you keep grading when you’re in a bad mood you’re going to make your students cry.”

“They deserve to cry,” Kihyun says, holding up his tablet. “This, this is shit.”

Changkyun snorts as he sits back up, hand back on Kihyun’s ankle as his thumb rubs soothing, distracting little circles. “Okay, you need to save and then turn your tablet off. We’re taking a break.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes but saves his place, turns off the screen of his tablet and places it and his grade book in a neat pile on the floor. “Fine, we’re on a break. How are we turning this mood around?” Kihyun asks, still a little annoyed. He expects better of the students in his section. 

“We could make a run to Starbucks? Get out of the house for a little bit,” Changkyun suggests as he puts his notebook away. 

Kihyun frowns, nose scrunching in distaste. “I’m not sure how caffeine is gonna make me less mean,” Kihyun says, sighing. “What if we just sat in silence and then got back to work.”

Changkyun snorts. “No, that’s not a break babe,” Changkyun says, giving Kihyun a look before scrolling on his phone. He stops and then smirks and says, “What about if we go to the dog cafe?”

Kihyun sits up straighter, then gets up on his knees. “There’s a _dog_ cafe?” he asks and at Changkyun’s nod grabs at his phone. “Let me see.”

“Oh my god, these pictures are amazing,” Kihyun says as he slowly scrolls through image after image of people with piles of dogs. “You can pick what size dog you want, Changkyunie this is the best cafe in the world.”

Changkyun laughs. “So do you wanna go? They’re open pretty late so we’ll have plenty of time for you to covet their dogs.”

“We can’t,” Kihyun says, sighing wistfully. “If I set one foot in there today I’m not getting any more grading done. Maybe we can save it for after midterms?”

Changkyun shrugs and says, “We can do that or we could try to go for like an hour and help you calm down?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, crawling closer to Changkyun on his knees. He wraps a hand around the back of Changkyun’s neck and kisses him on the cheek. “I’m fine, I just needed some cute puppy pics to calm me down.”

“You sure?” Changkyun asks, snaking an arm around Kihyun’s waist and turning a little so that he doesn’t have to move his head to face him. “We can still go somewhere.”

“I’m sure,” Kihyun says as he tips his forehead against Changkyun’s. “I’m your hyung you know, I’m supposed to be looking after you,” Kihyun adds, thumb brushing along Changkyun’s neck. 

Changkyun snorts, breathe ghosting across Kihyun’s face. “You do look after me,” he says, leaning his head back to look Kihyun in the eye. “But I’m your boyfriend, I’m gonna look after you too.”

It’s the kind of thing Changkyun says that sends Kihyun reeling but also gives him hope that maybe, possibly this thing isn’t going to really be temporary. His fingers flex against Changkyun’s neck as he leans forward and kisses him.

“What was that for?” Changkyun asks, smiling almost shyly. 

Kihyun shrugs. “Do I need a reason?”

“No,” Changkyun says laughing and pulling Kihyun closer. “I guess not,” he adds, leaning in and kissing Kihyun. It’s not exactly a trip to the dog cafe but it’s still a pretty good break. 

*  
The next afternoon Kihyun works at home again, finishing up his grading on his own while Changkyun braves the library. He’s thinking about taking a break to make some lunch and maybe clean the apartment when Hyungwon wanders out of his room, still looking half asleep from getting in late from his DJ set.

“Hey,” Hyungwon says as he shuffles toward the kitchen.

Kihyun watches as Hyungwon wanders into the kitchen then back out to the living room before dropping down onto the other side of the couch and pulling his knees up to his chest. He’s wearing his biggest hoodie and looks exhausted. 

“Uh hey,” Kihyun says, raising an eyebrow at him. “Are you okay?”

Hyungwon grunts but doesn’t lift his head from where it’s resting on his knees. 

Kihyun shakes his head and saves his spot in his grade book. “Alright then,” he says standing up. “I was gonna make some lunch if you’re hungry.”

“If you make me food I’d love you forever,” Hyungwon says, looking up and giving Kihyun a pathetic look.

Kihyun smiles and shakes his head as he heads into the kitchen. He starts the rice cooker and pulls kimchi and vegetables from the fridge, frowning when he can’t find any meat. He can’t really remember the last time they went grocery shopping so Kihyun stops and adds an alert to go shopping after his next round of office hours. 

It doesn’t take long to throw together some bibimbap and by the time he’s pulling two bowls down Kihyun has a full grocery list in his phone and enough left over for them to both have either a couple of dinners or lunches. He carries the bowls back over to the couch and they sit quietly and eat, Hyungwon slowly unfolding himself as he seems to wake up more and more as food fills his belly. 

By the time they’re done eating and Kihyun has cleaned up the kitchen Hyungwon looks like a person again, glasses on and hood down and seemingly ready to interact with humans. 

“Feeling better?” Kihyun asks, after he’s washed and dried the bowls and put them away. 

“Much,” Hyungwon says, yawning. “Sorry I was such a zombie earlier.”

Kihyun shrugs. “It’s fine, I’ve known you long enough to know what you’re like when you wake up.”

“Still,” Hyungwon says, tilting his head to one side and frowning. “I could be less nonverbal,” he adds, shrugging. “What are you doing home this early?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow at him frowning. “It’s after 3 and there are no classes until Monday,” Kihyun says slowly. “I’m sure I told you it was study days on campus, no classes so students have extra time to prepare for their exams?”

“You probably did,” Hyungwon says, thinking face firmly in place. “But between DJing and photoshoots, I haven’t really been super checked in lately.”

“Eh,” Kihyun says with a shrug. “I haven’t exactly been super available lately either so it’s fine. I should have put it on the shared calendar.”

Hyungwon smiles. “You have been super busy lately,” he says, laughing to himself a little. “How are things with Changkyun?”

“They’re good,” Kihyun says, a little too fast. Things are good, he just doesn’t know what the hell that means. “How are things going with you and Hoseok?”

Hyungwon smiles, this small, shy little smile and says, “Things are really good.”

“I’m glad; I’m happy for you, you know,” Kihyun says smiling. “You were kind of a nightmare when you thought he hated you.”

“Bah!” Hyungwon says, throwing a napkin at Kihyun’s head. “I was very calm and cool about all of that.”

Kihyun just looks at him. “One time you came home, slammed the front door and when I asked you what was up you stomped off to your room and slammed that door and then started blasting music.”

“I was having a bit of an emotional reaction,” Hyungwon says with a shrug. 

“You threw a tantrum like an emo teenager.”

Hyungwon snorts. “Whatever,” he says laughing. “I’m not the one dating someone who only wears black nail polish.”

“I like the black nail polish,” Kihyun says, rushing to defend him even though he doesn’t really care one way or the other. But Changkyun likes it and he likes Changkyun so he’ll defend him. 

“I’m sure you do,” Hyungwon says, smiling. “You two are cute, and so quiet. I never know he’s here until I’m tripping over you two making out in a shared space or I pass him on the way to the bathroom.”

Kihyun frowns. They’ve never been quiet, that’s the whole reason all of this started, was to try to be loud and obnoxious to annoy Hyungwon. But now that he thinks about it he can’t remember the last time he heard Hyungwon and Hoseok having sex. 

“I don’t think we’re that quiet,” Kihyun starts slowly. “But I’m glad you and Hoseok have gotten quieter, I really didn’t want to know you that well.”

It takes a second but eventually Hyungwon understands what Kihyun is saying and his cheeks go just slightly pink. “Oh god, I’m sorry. We weren’t. I’m not. I’m sorry,” Hyungwon says, babbling. 

“It’s fine,” Kihyun says, surprised to even mean it. It’s been months and it doesn’t even seem like something that should have been nearly so annoying back then. “I haven’t heard you lately. And I guess you uh, don’t hear us so let's uh just never talk about this again.”

“That's fine with me.”

“Good.”

*

The next few weeks are such a blur of grading, writing and helping plan midterms that Kihyun doesn’t have time to get anxious. But it’s always lurking, in the background of his thoughts as he works on his dissertation and spends more and more time with Changkyun that doesn’t feel temporary but does feel fragile, like at any moment they’re both going to realize this wasn’t supposed to last.

He doesn’t have office hours until later in the afternoon but Changkyun’s in class and Hyungwon’s at home catching up on sleep after a late night DJing so Kihyun heads to campus early so he can be alone in his tiny ‘cubicle with a door’ of an office and take a chance to quietly and extensively freak out. 

His biggest problem, the one that’s become a giant blinking sign in his head that he can’t ignore is that he’s been into Changkyun for a while. It hasn’t been something he’s been repressing, exactly, but Kihyun had gotten very good at ignoring it. He put his feelings in a little box, in a very tidy room and kept the door closed. He’d done the math a while ago and their group was just too small for him to screw things up by making a move. 

And he’d been mostly fine with that; they’re friends, they’d been getting closer as friends and that was enough and now he’s trying to figure out how to take the temporary out of the equation without everything blowing up in his face. Kihyun doesn’t figure out any of the answers in the hours leading up to his office hours so he cleans his office, rearranges all of the notes and books on his desk and writes and discards twelve pages of his dissertation before the first student knocks on the door. 

Kihyun spends the next two hours meeting with students and working on his dissertation and as his office hours end he’s considering making a run for coffee when someone knocks on the door. He briefly considers telling whoever that office hours are over but it’s been a good distraction and he knows he wasn’t remotely easy on any of the students midterm papers so he yells, “come on in,” and saves his current chapter. 

He’s surprised when he looks up as the door opens and finds himself face to face with Minhyuk instead of any of his students.

“What are you doing here?” Kihyun asks, brow furrowed in confusion. “Don’t you have work?”

“It’s after four,” Minhyuk says, plopping down in the chair across from Kihyun’s desk. “Also it’s Thursday, you know I only work mornings on Thursdays.”

“I forgot,” Kihyun says, frowning. He can’t remember making plans with Minhyuk but the last few weeks have been a blur so he’s starting to think he forgot to put something in his planner. “Did we have plans today? You don’t usually stop by when I’m working.”

Minhyuk shakes his head. “We don’t have plans,” Minhyuk says shrugging. “We _should_ since you’ve been so busy lately but no.”

“Okay,” Kihyun says, raising an eyebrow. “Unless you want to talk about your vocal technique I’m not sure why you’re here.”

Minhyuk shrugs and gives Kihyun a look that makes him sit up straighter. He’s known Minhyuk long enough to know when he’s about to make Kihyun regret getting out of bed that morning. 

“Your boyfriend sent me.”

“What?” 

Minhyuk crosses his arms over his chest. “So you can imagine my surprise when I see my roommate come out of his room this morning and he asks me if I know what’s going on with you.”

Kihyun blanches but tries to cover it up with an eye roll. “There’s nothing going on with me,” Kihyun says, trying and failing to sound annoyed. “He saw me two days ago.”

“I’m just telling you what he told me,” Minhyuk says, unbothered by Kihyun’s slowly encroaching freak out. “He said you’ve been weird but you’re pretending everything is fine so he can’t even ask. So now I’m asking because I know you’re full of shit,” Minhyuk says smiling. 

“I haven’t been weird,” Kihyun says, avoiding eye contact. He hasn’t, not really. All of Kihyun’s freaking out has been quiet, quiet, quiet. “I’ve just been a little stressed out.”

“Try again,” Minhyuk says, glaring at him. “Tell me so we can fix it and Changkyunie can stop freaking out at me.”

Kihyun sighs. “We’re supposed to be temporary,” Kihyun says, rubbing his eyes. 

“Who?” Minhyuk says frowning. 

Kihyun throws him a withering look. “Me and Changkyun, it’s been almost six months and we were supposed to be temporary.”

Minhyuk laughs, looks at what Kihyun is sure is the startled look on his face and keeps on laughing.

“What’s wrong with you?” Kihyun asks, throwing a pen at him. 

“Ah! Don’t do that,” Minhyuk yells, trying to dodge the pen. “It’s not my fault you’re being a dumbass.”

“I’m not being dumb,” Kihyun says, glaring. “You’re over there laughing while I’m freaking out.”

Minhyuk just looks at him. “I don’t understand why you’re freaking out. So what? Your temporary relationship has gone on longer than you expected? Who could have predicted this? Oh right, me,” he says throwing his hands in the air. “Are you trying to break up with him or something?”

“No!” Kihyun says, annoyed. “I don’t want to break up with him, that’s the problem.”

Minhyuk snorts. “How is that a problem? Changkyun doesn’t seem like he’s in any rush to dump you, even when you’re being an asshole.”

“But he could! Any minute he could just be like oh well this has been fun,” Kihyun says, anxiously fisting in a hand in his hair. “And then what? I’ll have to stay friends with him while he dates someone else and I can’t even be upset since all of this is my fault,” Kihyun says, throwing his hands up and sitting back in his chair. 

Minhyuk uncrosses his arms and blinks at him. “Wow,” Minhyuk mumbles looking down at the floor. “There’s a whole lot to unpack there but have you talked to him, like at all?” Minhyuk asks, looking up at Kihyun. “Because it seems like you’re freaking out without knowing what he wants.”

“I know, I know, but what if he wants to break up?” Kihyun asks, heart racing a little just at the thought of it. He doesn’t how things ended up like this but he’s in way too deep to not freak out about the possibility. 

“What if he doesn’t and he’s on edge thinking that you’re going to remember your relationship is temporary at any moment?” Minhyuk asks, eyebrow raised. “Or you run into one of your exes and he sees you talking and thinks you’re about to dump him to get back together with them?” Minhyuk says, sitting up and getting excited. “Ooh, or what if-”

“Alright, I get it,” Kihyun says cutting Minhyuk off. “We’ve got plans to see each other tomorrow, I’ll talk to him and just get it over with.”

“Good,” Minhyuk says nodding. “It’ll be good, you guys are annoyingly good together.”

Kihyun nods even though he’s not sure if he can really believe it until things are more settled. “Okay, okay,” he says, breathing through it and hoping it will be, okay. 

*  
Kihyun is a little on edge the next day, waiting for Changkyun to show up. Their plan is to hang out in the afternoon and get some work done together and maybe grab dinner somewhere that night but Kihyun starts the day anxious and doesn’t know how to dial it back. 

He does laundry, cleans his room, then the bathroom, the kitchen, and Hyungwon’s room before circling back to his own room to get a few pages of writing done. He’s finally managed to calm down a little and get focused on work so much that he loses track of time. So Kihyun is surprised when there’s a tap on his open door and he looks up and sees Changkyun standing there. 

“Hey,” Changkyun says, stepping in and dropping his bag at the foot of Kihyun’s bed before sitting down. 

“Hi,” Kihyun says, spinning his desk chair to face the bed. “Sorry, I lost track of time.”

Changkyun shakes his head. “It’s fine,” he says, playing with his hands. It’s a nervous tic he’s had the entire time Kihyun’s known him but he can’t parse why he’d be doing it now. “So hey, are you mad at me?” Changkyun asks, finally looking up from his hands. “About siccing Minhyuk on you or you know anything else?”

“What? No,” Kihyun says, surprised. 

“You’ve been weird,” Changkyun says. “And Minhyuk said you guys talked but he couldn’t tell me anything so. You know.”

Kihyun sighs, standing up to close the small gap between them. “I’m sorry,” he says, stopping to stand between Changkyun’s legs, hands resting on his shoulders. “I’ve been in this stress, anxiety spiral and I didn’t want you to know I was freaking out.”

“And you decided to hide it and then got really weird?” Changkyun asks, tilting his head back to look at Kihyun. 

Kihyun shrugs. “Pretty much, it’s a really shitty cycle.”

Changkyun sighs and says, “You know you could talk to me, right? I know a lot about having a bunch of shitty feelings spiraling around.”

“I know,” Kihyun says with a sigh as he tips head forward so their foreheads are pressed together. “Minhyuk made it clear I was being a real dumbass.”

“I wasn’t gonna say it,” Changkyun says with a laugh. 

“You’re a true hero.”

“You didn’t even notice I was late so things must be pretty bad,” Changkyun adds laughing at him again. 

Kihyun frowns and steps back over to his desk to grab his phone. It’s well after six and he has no idea how he didn’t notice. “Wow, okay, clearly I’m a real disaster right now but where the hell have you been?”

“Library,” Changkyun says with a shrug. “The noonas at the front desk were very concerned that they hadn’t seen you this week so you’re gonna need to maybe drop off some flowers or tea or something the next time we go.”

“Ugh, fine,” Kihyun says before he flops down face first onto the bed, close enough to Changkyun that their legs touch. “They’re gonna tell me I’m too skinny again.”

“Poor baby,” Changkyun says, rubbing Kihyun’s back. “If only the noonas wouldn’t keep giving you sweets because they like you best.”

Kihyun turns toward him and glares ready to say something rude when there’s a tapping on the door frame. 

“Hey,” Hyungwon says, leaning in the doorway as they both look up from where they’re mostly sprawled across the bed. “A bunch of us are gonna get dinner and hit up a noraebang, are you up for it?” he asks looking from one to the other. 

Kihyun looks at Changkyun and he frowns and shrugs. 

“I think we're gonna stay in tonight, maybe next time?” Kihyun says, struggling a little to sit up. 

“Plus, hyung is making me dinner,” Changkyun adds, already sitting up and legs folded under him on the bed. 

Kihyun looks at him with both eyebrows raised. “Am I?”

“You promised,” Changkyun says with a shrug. “Are you really gonna break your promise in front of a witness?”

Hyungwon snorts. “Alright, I'm getting out of here and away from this,” he says swirling his hand in a circle at them and laughing. “I'm staying over at hyung’s tonight so you've got the apartment to yourself,” and then he’s pushing off the door frame and closing the door behind him as he leaves. 

“Are you seriously trying to guilt trip me into cooking for you, you brat?” Kihyun asks. He's not really annoyed but Changkyun doesn't need to know that. 

Changkyun shrugs. “Maybe. Is it working?”

Kihyun snorts and slaps his arm. “No. Try harder.”

“Do you really want to go out and spend money on food when you just went grocery shopping?” Changkyun asks. Kihyun hears the front door open and assumes that's Hyungwon on his way out so they're alone for real now. “It's a waste of money. Plus you promised to cook for me.”

“I cook for you all the time. I made you breakfast two days ago.”

Changkyun scoffs. “That's not dinner hyung. And you didn't even make any meat.”

“Oh, so really you just want some meat,” Kihyun says and then his ears go red at the look on Changkyun's face. “Oh my God, shut up. You living with Minhyuk was a terrible mistake for us all.”

Changkyun just tips his head back and laughs. 

Kihyun can't draw his eyes away from the line of his throat, from the way his shirt seems to gape open a little bit more as he laughs. They still need to talk about _them_ but Kihyun is already emotionally drained and Changkyun being there and hot isn’t helping him stay focused.

“Ugh, fine,” Kihyun sighs, giving in to get himself moving. “But you have to help me clean up the kitchen after.” He sorts the work on his desk into in progress and complete piles and glares at Changkyun until he gets up and follows him into the kitchen.

*

They settle on making japchae and Kihyun puts Changkyun on vegetable duty while he gets the pot ready and grabs noodles and chicken. They work well together, moving around each other easily in the tiny galley kitchen, as Kihyun starts to sing as he gets things into the pot and Changkyun pulls down bowls from the cabinet and soju from the fridge. 

It’s not long before they’ve settled at the little table Hyungwon and Kihyun have set up in a corner. It’s cozy and familiar and feels more like a date than many of the times they’ve gone out together. For once, Changkyun sticks to his own bowl, since they’re both the same, and they spend a little while catching up on each other’s day. 

Changkyun’s just finished telling a story about some horrible peer review in one of his classes when Kihyun glances at both of their empty bowls and the mostly empty bottles of soju on the table. “We need to clean up,” he says, lightly kicking Changkyun’s leg under the table.

“Or we could do it tomorrow?” Changkyun says, raising both eyebrows at Kihyun in a question. 

Kihyun pushes his chair back away from the table and says, “No, we get it done tonight and then we don’t have to complain about needing to do the dishes before breakfast tomorrow.”

“I could buy us breakfast tomorrow?” Changkyun says, not moving from his spot cradling a mostly empty soju bottle. “I’ll even spring for Starbucks.”

Kihyun snorts and stands up, grabbing both of their bowls. “No,” he says firmly, walking toward the kitchen. “Stop stalling and take those empty bottles out to recycle.”

Changkyun goes, grumbling all the way and by the time he’s back Kihyun has gotten the leftovers put away, the table and countertops wiped down and has the pot and both bowls in the sink. 

“Do you want to wash or dry?” Kihyun asks holding up a pair of kitchen gloves. 

Changkyun shakes his head and says, “Of course you have extra kitchen gloves,” sounding fond and amused. “I’ll wash, you dry.”

They work quickly and quietly, and by the time Kihyun is drying the last bowl Changkyun has put away the kitchen gloves and pressed up against him trailing tiny kisses along the back of Kihyun’s neck.

“Changkyun-ah,” Kihyun says, trying not to encourage him even as he tilts his head to give Changkyun better access. 

“Hmm?” Changkyun asks, mouth barely leaving Kihyun’s neck. “Did you need something?”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and quickly puts the bowls away before turning around and glaring at him. “You’re terrible, did you know that?” he asks, as he slides his hands along Changkyun’s waist. 

Changkyun shrugs and says, “You don’t seem to mind it,” as he leans in and kisses him. It’s filthy, a slick promise of things to come as Changkyun slips his knee between Kihyun’s legs and grabs his ass. Kihyun starts getting hard just from that, from the friction of Changkyun’s knee, the hand on his ass, tongue working its way into his mouth. There’s barely any friction between the thick layer of their jeans and he’d be embarrassed if he couldn’t feel Changkyun’s erection growing against him.

“I have a bed,” Kihyun says, panting as he pulls away to catch his breath. “You like my bed.”

“Do I?” Changkyun asks, breath hot against Kihyun’s neck. “Here is fine,” he adds, kissing Kihyun again. Kihyun loses the plot, lost in Changkyun’s hands and his mouth but after a few minutes he pushes him away, breathing heavy again and ignoring the hurt look that crosses Changkyun’s face. 

“Hyungwon will kill us if we have sex in the kitchen,” Kihyun says, trying to adjust himself as he leans against the kitchen counter staring at Changkyun. They’re both breathing hard and Kihyun’s erection is already straining his jeans but one of them has got to be reasonable and he’s the hyung so it’s on him. “Baby, come on,” he says, holding out a hand to Changkyun and then pulling him down the hall to his bedroom. 

It feels like they make it to Kihyun’s room between one breath and the next and then they’re in a mad dash to get their clothes off. 

“We could have just gone to the couch you know,” Changkyun says, leaning in to kiss Kihyun’s neck as he starts working on the stupid buttons of Kihyun’s shirt. 

Kihyun snorts, tilting his head to the side to give him better access as he makes quick work of Changkyun’s belt and fly, pushing his jeans down his hips. “I’m not riding you on the damn couch,” Kihyun says, shoving his hands up Changkyun’s shirt. 

Changkyun goes still and lifts his head to look at Kihyun. “What?” he asks sounding a little surprised and confused. 

“I mean if you want, we don’t have to,” Kihyun continues, suddenly nervous. He’s been thinking about it for months but they’ve never; he’s never offered and Changkyun hasn’t asked.

Changkyun makes a face. “Of course I want to,” Changkyun scoffs. “I didn’t think you were into that, you’ve always, you know,” Changkyun adds. 

In spite of everything, Kihyun is amused to find something that actually embarrasses Changkyun. Usually Kihyun is the one whose conservative background ends up tripping him up. “I always, you know?” Kihyun asks, amused. 

“Oh shut up,” Changkyun says, laughing and raising his arms to let Kihyun pull off his shirt. “You like to be in control, don’t deny it.”

“I’m not,” Kihyun says with a shrug. “I know I like to be in control. Just like you like it when I pull your hair and hold you down.”

“Yeah, well,” Changkyun says, looking almost shy. He steps out of his jeans and helps Kihyun step out of his before he adds, “I just wanted to be sure, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Kihyun smiles and shrugs out of his shirt. “I’m not, I want this,” he says, pushing Changkyun back toward the bed. “I want you.”

Changkyun doesn’t quite stumble but he takes a few short steps back and sits down on the bed, leaning over to grab the lube and a condom from the nightstand before sitting up and patting his lap. 

Kihyun rolls his eyes but he can’t stop the smile that settles on his face as he walks over to the bed and climbs onto Changkyun’s lap and kisses him, sliding a hand into his hair and pulling to get his head leaned back to where he wants him. Changkyun settles his hands on Kihyun’s hips, pulling him in closer until their dicks are rubbing together, slipping a hand between them to grab them both. Kihyun thrusts into his hand, panting against his lips as Changkyun grips them both. It’s good, but it’s not what he wants. 

“Are you,” Kihyun starts, pausing to close his eyes and breath as Changkyun’s thumb swipes across the tip. “Are you planning on doing something else with your hands or do I have to do all the work myself?”

Changkyun snorts, but stops jerking them off to reach for the lube. “You know you don’t need to boss me around in bed,” Changkyun says, as he slicks up his fingers and slowly eases one into Kihyun. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh yeah?” Kihyun asks, biting his lip as Changkyun slowly started to work him open. “Show me.”

And he does, working Kihyun open so slowly and methodically that by the time he adds a third finger Kihyun is a trembling mess. “Okay, okay,” Kihyun says, forehead pressed to Changkyun’s shoulder. “I’m ready, we can, _please_ ,” he adds rambling.

“Okay,” Changkyun says, kissing Kihyun’s shoulder as he slowly pulls his fingers out. It doesn’t take long for him to get the condom on and get himself slicked up but it’s enough time for Kihyun to kind of collect himself before he’s rising up on his knees and slowly sinking down on Changkyun’s dick. 

They breathe together for a moment before Kihyun starts moving, slowly rolling his hips to get a rhythm started. Kihyun can’t remember the last time he did this, the last time he was with someone he wanted this much but it’s good even as he loses all sense of time, as Changkyun’s hands tighten on his hips. 

He’s nowhere near close when he starts feeling a telltale flutter in his thigh that’s absolutely a sign of an impending cramp. “Fuck,” Kihyun mumbles as Changkyun trusts up and his thigh starts to hurt. “We need,” he pants, trying to ignore the pain. “We need to hurry up, I’m getting a cramp.”

“Are you serious?” Changkyun asks, gasping as Kihyun lifts up and grinds back down on him. 

“Yes,” Kihyun hisses, hands gripping his shoulders. “Help me out here.”

Changkyun groans. “I’m not, fuck,” he gasps, hand going tight enough to bruise on Kihyun’s hip. “I’m not close. You’re gonna have to start working out with Hoseok or something.”

Kihyun stills to glare at him. “Don’t talk about other men when you’re _inside_ of me.”

Changkyun laughs, tipping his head against Kihyun’s shoulder and mumbles a quick, “Sorry,” against Kihyun’s skin. “Do you trust me?” he asks, lifting his head up from Kihyun’s shoulder. 

“Of course I trust you,” Kihyun says with a frown. Like he would do any of this with someone he didn’t trust. “What kind of-” he starts but doesn’t get to finish before Changkyun has picked him up and put him on his back on the bed. 

“Which leg is cramping?” Changkyun asks, running his hands up Kihyun’s thighs. 

Kihyun taps his right leg and Changkyun nods, settling on his right side and pulling Kihyun’s leg up and over his waist. “Is this okay?” Changkyun asks, nodding toward where his dick was brushing against Kihyun’s thigh. 

“Yes,” Kihyun hisses, shifting his hips toward him. “Hurry up.” 

Changkyun laughs, positions himself beside Kihyun and pushes in. Kihyun isn’t in control anymore but Changkyun starts fucking him so slow and deep that he just doesn’t have it in him to care. They don’t last long like that, Kihyun biting his lip to stop himself from moaning as Changkyun’s arm wraps around his waist and his whole world narrows down to them and his bed.

“Oh fuck,” Kihyun moans, face pressed against his arm as Changkyun’s hand drifts down to his dick. It’s too much and he cums with a groan, coating his stomach and Changkyun’s hand.

Changkyun is not far behind him, gasping against Kihyun’s neck. “Shit,” he mumbles, hand tightening on Kihyun’s dick. They don’t move for a few minutes, just breathing together before he lets go of Kihyun’s dick and slowly pulls out. Kihyun frowns at the loss and makes a face at the mess across his stomach and between his thighs. 

“You should get a washcloth from the bathroom,” Kihyun says, flopping over onto his back when Changkyun tries to climb back into bed after throwing the condom away. 

Changkyun frowns. “Why do I have to do it? You do it every other time.”

“My legs work every other time,” Kihyun says, rolling his eyes as he leans up on one arm. “And I’m more of a mess right now than you, stop complaining like you didn’t just get laid.”

He grumbles but he goes.

*  
Changkyun takes his time getting them cleaned up, following every slow swipe of the washcloth with his fingers until Kihyun is pulling him in and kissing him. “Are you already ready to go again?” Changkyun asks, smiling against Kihyun’s mouth.

“No, I’m not you brat,” Kihyun answers laughing. “I need at least a half an hour and for you to stop touching me like that.”

“Like what?” Changkyun asks, running a finger up the inside of Kihyun’s thigh. 

Kihyun glares at him. “Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t look good on you,” he says, rolling his eyes. “And please toss that washcloth in the hamper in the bathroom, I need to talk to you about something and I don’t need that thing drying on the floor in here.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes, but stands up. “You’re supposed to be more chill after an orgasm, I hope you know that,” he says as he walks across the room naked. 

“You could put your boxers back on, you know,” Kihyun says, ignoring everything he said. He finds his own boxer briefs in the middle of the floor and pulls them on, picking up their clothes from the floor. 

“We’re alone in the apartment,” Changkyun says, hand on the door. “Wearing clothes is overrated.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes at his back as Changkyun steps out into the hall and into the bathroom. He’s just started folding their clothes to pile in his desk chair when there’s a scream from the hallway and he practically sprints across his room and opens the door. 

He’s not expecting to see Hyungwon with a hand clamped over his eyes, Hoseok with his head tilted back to look at the ceiling and Changkyun trying to hide behind the bathroom door. 

“What the hell is going on?” Kihyun asks, looking at each of them in turn. “I thought you were gone for the night,” Kihyun says, turning to look at Hyungwon. 

Hyungwon nods but doesn’t remove the hand across his eyes. “I was, I very very very much wish I was not here right now. But I don’t have any clean clothes at Hoseok’s since he didn't do his damn laundry.”

“I said I was sorry like three times,” Hoseok says, glancing down to look at Kihyun before jerking his eyes back up to the ceiling as his neck turns red. 

Kihyun looks down at himself but doesn’t see anything too bad. He’s wearing his underwear and he doesn’t have on a shirt but he’s at home and Hoseok has pictures with more nudity up on Instagram. “Okay, so?” Kihyun asks, still confused. 

“Your boyfriend is naked,” Hyungwon says, sounding horrified. “And we know that because we just ran into him while he was naked.”

“Congratulations on all of that by the way,” Hoseok says, before coughing as Hyungwon hits his arm. 

Kihyun closes his eyes and counts to three before he says, “Okay, great.” He turns toward the bathroom and adds, “You can come back to my room now, they aren’t looking.”

“This is deeply embarrassing,” Changkyun says as he quickly crosses the short distance between the bathroom and Kihyun’s room. 

Kihyun shakes his head. “I told you to put your damn boxers back on.”

“We were alone!” Changkyun says, annoyed as he steps past Kihyun. 

Hyungwon laughs and says, “Well this has been fun, great roommate and friends bonding time.”

“Sure,” Kihyun says, raising an eyebrow. “We’re gonna be behind this closed door now, where I’m the only one seeing my boyfriend naked,” Kihyun adds, closing the door behind him and turning to see Changkyun, sitting on the bed scrolling through his phone, legs folded and still naked. 

Kihyun rolls his eyes but walks over to the bed and sits at the end, facing Changkyun. 

“So,” Kihyun says, looking at Changkyun.

“Hey,” Changkyun says, looking up from his phone. “I’m not putting my boxers back on just to go to sleep.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes. “I don’t care about that,” Kihyun says, trying not to get nervous. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Changkyun says. He leans over to plug his phone into the charger he’s left at Kihyun’s since this all started and says, “What's up?”

“Right,” Kihyun says with a sigh. “So you know we’ve been doing this for a while, and it’s been good. It’s been really good,” Kihyun adds, fiddling with the sheets. “But we were supposed to be temporary right and we’re coming up on six months.”

Kihyun looks up and finds Changkyun staring at him, eyes wide. 

“Uh, so this is feeling like the type of conversation where I should maybe be wearing more clothes,” Changkyun says, climbing off of the bed. 

Kihyun blinks at him. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he says, confused.

“You’re in the middle of trying to break up with me so I feel like I need to be very less naked.”

“What?” Kihyun asks, and then asks again. “What? I’m not trying to break up with you, I’m trying to not break up with you!”

Changkyun stops, boxers in hand and just looks at him. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“It means we’re temporary and I don’t want us to be!” Kihyun says, starting to get frustrated. “You could get bored and break up with me at any time, I don’t want that.”

Changkyun glares at him and then sighs. “Kihyun-ah, what the fuck. I wasn’t planning on breaking up with you,” Changkyun says, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “I’ve been into you for two years, do you really think I was gonna blow my shot like that?”

“What?” Kihyun asks stunned. “You,” he stops and shakes his head. “You never said anything.”

Changkyun gives him a look. “You’ve literally been in a relationship the entire time I’ve known you. You were dating that girl when we met, and then that guy, then that other guy, then that girl who just got married and then that last one. When would I have said anything?”

“I was single for seven months when we started this,” Kihyun says, incredulous. “We saw each other like 3 times a week for months.”

Changkyun shrugs. “I had to work up to it, I didn’t even know if you were into me like that until you kissed me back.”

“I let you steal my food, we meet up three times a week and never invite any of our other friends. I broke up with my boyfriend because I had a crush on you,” Kihyun says, speaking slowly. 

“Shit,” Changkyun says and then he frowns. “Wait, you were going to say no when I first brought up us sleeping together.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and says, “Because you were making it a casual sex thing. I’m not good at casual.”

“Yeah, I know,” Changkyun says, stepping into his space. “I was kinda counting on that.”

Kihyun laughs, sliding his arms around Changkyun’s waist. “We’re so stupid.”

“Eh, we figured it out eventually,” Changkyun says, hands sliding up across Kihyun’s shoulders. “Just so we’re clear though, we’re not temporary. You’re stuck with me for as long as you want me.”

“Dangerous,” Kihyun says, smiling. “I might want forever.”

Changkyun smiles back at him. “I can live with that,” he says and then he kisses him. 

THE END


End file.
